The Writer
by Neko-Houkou
Summary: Tony and Steve are sort of dancing around the issue of their feelings. The opportunity to fix this might come about thanks to a pair of pants, but definitely not the way you would think. AU- Coulson lives. Rated T for Tony's inappropriate sense of humor.


This was supposed to be a 3,000 word songfic.

It was also supposed to be uploaded, like, over a year ago.

Oops.

Procrastination happens. So does veering from your original plans. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I do not own Avengers or Ellie Goulding or her music or her Producer's copyright, patents, whatever. Did I cover all my bases?

P.S. **FlowerChild777**: I am not sorry and I regret nothing!

* * *

If there was one thing Tony Stark was not, it was a damsel in distress. So he was understandably irritated when his repulsors failed in the middle of a fight with Doom bots and Captain America had to catch him bridal style.

"Put me down!" Thankfully the voice modulators kept Steve from hearing how the demand came out more or less as a squeak. This had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Captain America, his childhood hero, was carrying him bridal style as though he weighed absolutely nothing despite the fact the armor was in the neighborhood of 300 pounds. Because he and Steve didn't get along at all, so there was no reason to act like a fanboy when this was clearly humiliating and was going to get him chewed out later.

Clint wolf-whistled as he passed them in pursuit of one of the few remaining bots. Tony could have kicked himself for getting into trouble just moments before the fight was over.

"What were you thinking, Tony?" Steve asked, and the exasperation in his voice was obvious.

Tony took the bait that Steve hadn't even realized he was dangling. "Well, I was thinking Doctor Doom is an idiot, the Fantastic Four are the laziest superheroes ever, there's a way for me to upgrade Clint's arrows so that they pack twice the firepower in a sleeker design, there must be some way to create a sentient coffee machine, the newest addition to the Starkphone needs to be a ringtone that sounds like Thor, wondering what Fury is really hiding under that eye patch, and also that suit really highlights your incredibleass. Now put me down before you get us roped into sexual harassment training."

All of this was spewed without taking a breath or pausing, and he could see Steve taking a moment to process all of the information that Tony had just hurled at him. In the time it took Tony to explain all of that, he had thought of a way to upgrade his repulsors so he and Cap would never need to have a conversation again while said Cap held him bridal style.

Tony could see the moment it clicked into place and Steve started blushing. "I'm the one who'll be in trouble for sexual harassment?" he asked somewhat sarcastically, which Tony would have been more thrilled about if he still wasn't being held against Steve's very muscular chest by his very muscular arms.

"As much as I would love to argue the nuances of what constitutes sexual harassment, you really need to put me down before Coulson starts throwing a hissy-fit about our public image. People might get the wrong impression about your sexual orientation."

There were already people gathering around the wrecked Doom bots and staring wide eyed at them. Tony wouldn't have minded people thinking they were sleeping together, would have been even more pleased if they were sleeping together because, seriously, this was Captain America, the sexiest guy Tony had ever seen, the one who helped him discover his budding bisexuality as a teen. But if people thought he had corrupted a national icon Fury would get Natasha to castrate him. Heck, she might even do it of her own volition.

Steve just sputtered and turned even redder, and Tony had to wonder if he'd just spoken his last few thoughts out loud as he was wont to do.

"If I didn't think you'd be even more of a whiny bitch, I would have cut them off months ago," Natasha hissed in his ear. As he tried not to have a heart attack, he struggled to get out of Steve's arms, because, yeah, he had just shared way too much information.

* * *

Tony wasn't sure when it happened. More importantly, he didn't know exactly why it happened either. All he knew was that one day he had looked around him and thought, what the hell happened?

He and Steve had been slowly progressing toward mutual respect and even past that into casual friendship. It had gotten to the point where Tony would actually let Steve drag him out of the lab for team bonding activities or even silly superfluous stuff like food and sleep. He'd quit drinking; though he refused to give up coffee even a little bit. He also refused to quit teasing Steve, but the other man seemed to take it more in stride, sometimes even managing to respond with a quip of his own.

But then something changed. Steve seemed even more distant than when they had first met. It wasn't as though they were back to arguing. Honestly, Tony would have preferred the arguing to the gloomy attitude Steve was giving off. It was like he had a dark cloud over his head all of the time now, and no matter how much Tony prodded he refused to talk about it. It had gotten to the point where Steve was the one avoiding Tony.

Surely this was a sign of the apocalypse.

* * *

Then one day while Steve was being mopey for reasons Tony couldn't understand, the Avengers were called on a mission. And, as usual, Tony threw himself into the fight with reckless abandon, heedless of the consequences, ignoring all reason despite his logical disposition.

There was a moment when Tony blacked out, but he was eventually roused by someone gently touching his face and calling his name. Even though he was a very physical guy, Tony kind of didn't want to be touched at the moment, because in the back of his mind he knew the second the gentle touches disappeared Steve would be there to yell at him.

It took him a little longer than it should have for him to realize Steve was the one touching him. Of course, it was very possible he had more than a small concussion, so the momentary lack of recognition was completely understandable.

He waited a moment to open his eyes, listening to Steve's frantic pleas that he wouldn't die. Eventually, though, he had to face the music, especially if he was going to figure out if he actually heard Hawkeye and Widow arguing over gummy bears or if his head injury had altered his hearing.

"'M fine, Cap," he slurred, trying to open his eyes. It took him a moment to bring those bright blues into focus. It seemed a lot easier to focus on the streaks of dirt and blood on the Captain's face.

But then Tony wasn't given a choice when Steve somewhat roughly grabbed his face and tried to force him to make eye contact. At first, however, Tony lowered his lashes and stared at the national icon's mouth instead. He noted almost vaguely that Cap had a really nice mouth. "Tony. Look at me!"

"Well, when you ask so nicely," he muttered, staring into blue eyes that were frantically searching his. Tony dimly thought that Steve was probably trying to check his pupils to see if Tony had a concussion. Not so dimly, he noticed that there was something shiny in the corner of the icon's eyes. Wet looking.

Tony's eyes widened when he finally put two and two together and realized that Steve was crying.

Tony tried to put on his award-winning smile that dazzled the media and investors alike and make light of the situation because, damnit, Captain America was crying and it was his fault. There was some horrible twisting going on in his chest that had nothing to do with a failing arc reactor, yet was just as painful.

"Don't you dare, Tony!"

The two men had argued before, but Tony had never heard such bite in the man's tone. It was a bit of a shock, thinking that Steve might genuinely care about him. Something even more painful than before twisted in his chest, something he hadn't felt in a long time; hope. Hope that maybe Steve really felt that way about him too. His smile faded as the tears started falling and the edges of his vision turned black. There was only enough time for two more thoughts:

I'm in love with Steve.

Oh, fuck.

* * *

Ever since his little revelation, Tony had gone back to being the one to avoid Steve. Though it was far different than when he had actively hated the guy. Of course, you couldn't avoid someone properly if they're avoiding you in the first place, which meant that Steve had gotten out of whatever funk he was in and was actively seeking out Tony's company and making sure he slept and ate and took breaks from his work and whatnot.

Really, Tony thought, Steve couldn't have picked a worse time to suddenly want to be Tony's friend again.

Being buddies was something Tony could have handled if he hadn't developed touchy-feelies for the guy. But Tony was a very greedy, selfish creature, and he knew that if he started spending a lot of time with Steve again he wouldn't be able to let it stop at just that. Steve might have cried over him sure, but Tony knew he would cry over a box of homeless kittens, too, so he didn't take it personally. Not only would he royally fuck up the team's dynamics, he would get hurt. He never really knew how to cope with pain; booze and women had never really helped, and he didn't think he could ever go back to that lifestyle. Not when he would have to face Steve's disappointment on top of his unrequited feelings.

Tony snorted. _Unrequited feelings._ What was this, a crappy love story?

Well, yeah, it actually pretty much was.

Tony went back to repairing his gauntlet. It took him less than a second to realize that no, it wasn't a gauntlet, but a Starkphone. He laughed in a self-deprecating manner. It had only been a few days and Steve was already driving him to distraction.

* * *

"Everything alright?"

Tony was very thankful he hadn't been working on the gauntlets after all, because he probably would have blown something up with the repulsors. His face, for example.

He whirled around in his chair and glared at the clock. Yup, it was eight on the dot, which meant that Steve was here to convince him to come up for dinner. Tony really needed to start hiding during the times he knew Steve would come down, maybe take a shower or something so he wouldn't have to force himself not to squirm under the blonde's concerned gaze.

"Never been better, Cap," Tony said. "I was just thinking that, you know, Bruce needs some new clothes. And I'm not just talking about the kind of clothes he wears just so he can Hulk out and destroy them. I'm thinking something he can wear underneath his civilian clothes so he isn't running around as a big green monster showing off his slightly smaller but still just as frightening green monster," and oh god why couldn't he ever stop talking when he was nervous? Seriously, he needed to sit down one day and make notecards about things he could talk about when he was rattled instead of letting his mouth run and embarrassing himself and everyone around him.

The blush that spread across Steve's cheeks was somewhat gratifying at least.

Steve cleared his throat awkwardly and cut Tony off before he could make things worse. "Look, maybe you should come up to dinner and then get some sleep." He trailed off, sounding uncertain, even though Tony had caved in to the demands up until this point with little resistance. Steve, ever observant, had probably noticed that Tony was getting slightly hysterical with his inability to cope with his newly discovered feelings.

"Okay, sure," Tony muttered, quickly standing and trying his best not to make a run for the door. Steve, though, had very fast reflexes, so even though Tony's action was probably unanticipated he managed to block the door.

Tony's reflexes, while not quite as good, at least managed to keep him from smashing his face into Steve's very muscular chest.

"Tony, there's something I- I, uh," he swallowed, and whatever sanity Tony was clinging onto flew out of his head as he watched the adam's apple bob up and down. "There's something I wanted to show you!" he blurted out, nearly causing Tony to jump in the air. At least he wasn't thinking about jumping Steve anymore when he noticed the blonde's distressed look.

Tony's brow knitted together as they watched each other. Then Steve lifted a sketchbook that Tony hadn't noticed before. The Captain nervously flipped through the pages while Tony wondered what could possibly have Steve so flustered when Tony was the one feeling like a mooning, lovesick teenager.

When Cap thrust the sketchbook into Tony's hands, he had to admit he was more than a little surprised. Tony had seen some of Steve's work before, but when it came to his art (and sex) he still acted like a shy kid who weighed nothing and was an art nerd. (SHIELD really needed to find a better way to hide their files. If Fury would say "please," Tony would be more than happy to upgrade security.) He would often close his book if someone else walked into the room, but every now and again a glimpse of a half-finished portrait could be seen.

It was nothing compared to this. It was all of the Avengers. They were assembled post victory, standing amongst the wreckage of buildings, looking weary and worn, but still standing strong. Thor was clapping a hand on Clint's shoulder, both of them laughing at some silent joke that only they were privy to. Natasha, straight faced and somehow happy at the same time, was dealing with both Thor possibly dislocating Clint's shoulder as well as trying to appease a still angry looking but in-control Hulk.

But it was Steve and himself that really caught his attention. Tony was up front and center, the Iron Man helmet was tucked under his arm as he called something over his shoulder, smiling. Steve was off to the side and back a little, looking fondly at… The rest of his teammates?

Tony looked a little closer at the version of him Steve was depicting. Was he imagining it, or was he not really looking at the group over his shoulder, but making eye contact with Captain America?

No. Tony, who didn't have an artist's eye, had to be imagining it. Never mind he was a genius and an engineer and could easily make a perfect line connecting the dots. He was clearly projecting his own feelings on to Cap's art.

It suddenly occurred to him that Steve was waiting for him to say something. "It's. It's amazing, Steve." He looked up, forced himself to make eye contact. It was less of a chore to give a small smile, since Steve's work really was amazing.

"Oh," Steve said, sounding almost disappointed. Tony wondered briefly what Steve had been hoping for. But then the blonde smiled and ushered him up the stairs where everyone was waiting to get started on the spaghetti Steve had made, and both of them dropped the subject.

* * *

Really, he thought as he swiped the last slice of homemade garlic bread before Clint could get it. It was better this way. Clearly, the fact that Steve had gone out of his way to show Tony his art was an attempt at friendship. It was an offer Tony couldn't refuse for fear of hurting Steve's feelings. So he would sit and smile and do best buddies stuff despite the twisting pain in his chest.

Because no matter how much he wanted to imagine scenarios where Steve liked him back and would continue to like him despite his baggage, he knew it would only end in tears for the both of them. He would keep his mouth shut about what was really going on in his head and heart.

He only hoped that maintaining a friendship with Steve wouldn't drive him insane.

* * *

Steve slumped into the couch and tossed the sketchbook onto the seat beside him. He didn't know what he had been thinking. What had he expected Tony to do; say 'I like you too'?

Steve had gone into the workshop three days ago fully intending to tell Tony how he felt. Instead, his nerves had gotten the best of him. In a last attempt at getting his message across, he had shown Tony the picture.

The picture was actually one of many, many pictures Steve had sworn he would never show anyone. He had nearly half a dozen sketchbooks filled with the forbidden drawings of Tony. He had been drawing the man nearly nonstop ever since his little revelation that he was in love with the infuriating man.

At first, Steve had gone out of his way to avoid Tony, afraid of his feelings showing and scaring the other man away. After the most recent escapade as the Avengers where Tony nearly died (again), he figured it was far past time he fessed up. Even if the inventor rejected him, which he was 90% sure Tony would (the other ten percent being Tony would agree to being 'friends with benefits'(Steve hated modern slang)).

Every attempt he had made thus far ended in resounding failure. Either Tony avoided him entirely or found some innocuous way to unnerve him. This caused Steve to panic for a few days because he thought the other man knew his secret. Now it just irritated him that Tony kept interfering with his plans to confess his undying love.

_Too dramatic, Rogers_, Steve mused as he slumped further into his chair. Tony would make fun of him till the end of time if he said something like that. If the genius wasn't busy running for the hills at the thought of a relationship with him.

It wasn't because they were both men. Steve had been unconsciously watching Tony ever since they met. The billionaire could appreciate an attractive man as equally as a woman. (This had also been confirmed by that "incredibleass" comment several months ago.) The issue was that Steve, despite adapting well to the 21st century, still had a few old fashioned ideals. Including long-term commitment with a romantic partner. Tony was well aware of this fact from a conversation about why Steve refused to go out with the girls Tony had nudged his way when their friendship was still growing.

Tony was scared of commitment. Steve didn't doubt, so long as his partner was willing to be patient and understanding, that Tony could do commitment. It was just that the man was afraid that anyone he got involved with would get tired of him and his antics. Steve had seen it with Pepper and several far less important women who were one-night stands. Those had all been a while ago, but Steve could still remember how devastated Tony had been when Pepper broke it off, and how he hadn't seemed to care about the women who followed.

Steve wanted to be the guy that proved to Tony that he was a wonderful person who deserved to be loved.

Throwing himself a pity-party wasn't going to help him get his point across, unfortunately. He wasn't the type of guy to mope; that was more Tony's style. He just needed a little more time to come up with a new plan of attack. Some other way to let Tony know how he felt.

* * *

It was Wednesday, which meant movie night at the Avengers mansion. Tony shared the sofa with him while Natasha made herself comfortable in her own armchair. Clint, Thor, and Bruce were on the floor. The first two were arguing over a large bowl of popcorn while Bruce tried to unsuccessfully shush them so he could hear what Dumbledore was saying to Harry and Hermione. They had tried watching Twilight last week, but between Tony's sarcastic comments about the lead actress, Thor's confusion at why Edward and Jacob didn't consume Bella as proper monsters should, and Clint and Natasha's shouting match over whether or not Bella should have picked Jacob, they decided it was better to not only forget about watching the subsequent films, but forget they had even watched the first one.

Steve was perfectly okay with this. He'd read both sets of books and found he had enjoyed Harry Potter more, even if he had been reluctant to read that series at all. If Tony hadn't made it his personal mission to get Steve up to speed on as many forms of popular culture as possible he would never have read a book about a boy wizard or vampires.

Something told him that Tony had insisted on this particular set of books not only for its popularity. Tony had tried to get Steve to do other things (like watch porn on the internet) he flat out refused to do. Tony would usually back down after a while, but when it came to Harry Potter he had insisted. Probably because he knew Steve would be able to relate to the small boy who was nothing special until he was thrust into a whole new life where everyone expected so much of him.

Steve barely noticed when the movie ended and the other Avengers cleared out of the living room, save for Tony. The inventor was fast asleep, his head lolling on the high arm of the sofa. Steve shut the Blu-Ray player off with a quick press of the remote and turned to wake Tony.

He hesitated in reaching out to shake his shoulder. Instead he brushed some of the hair out of the billionaire's face, being careful not to wake him. Tony looked so much younger in his sleep. Steve had always thought that was what Tony articulated as 'romantic drivel,' but it was true that the sarcastic man _did_ look much more youthful in his sleep. Before the night was over there would be a new sketch of the inventor hidden in his bedside drawer.

Steve couldn't stop himself from tracing some of the lines that smoothed out while Tony was resting. Touching the creases near the man's eyes proved to be a mistake. His eyes fluttered, and Steve withdrew his hand so quickly it was like he was burned. Tony yawned and stretched, and Steve's stomach did little flip flops at the sight of the muscles moving beneath his tight black tee.

Tony had to blink a few times to get his eyes to cooperate in the dark. "Hey, Steve," he muttered, blearily taking in his surroundings.

"Hey, Tony," Steve smiled. He couldn't help it. There was something almost cute about a Tony who was just waking up after a too-short nap.

"'G'night, Steve," Tony muttered, walking away in the direction of the master bedroom.

The smile fell off of Steve's face as he was left alone in the dark. "Good night, Tony."

* * *

Steve wished he was as good with words as Tony. Not when Tony was nervous, but in general. The Stark, for all of the times he put his foot in his mouth, seemed to always know what to say when it really mattered. And this mattered.

Another three days and Steve was hoping to try again, this time while all of the other Avengers were out shopping and technically the Fantastic Four were supposed to be covering for them in return for all of the times the Avengers had picked up the Four's slack. There would be nothing to interrupt the moment except Steve's fears that he would either say something wrong or be flat out rejected.

He slipped into the lab unnoticed. The object of Steve's affection was hunched over something he was working at furiously with a screwdriver. Tony had the music at obnoxiously loud levels, as usual, though not quite as ear-splitting as usual.

Seeming to sense what Steve wanted, JARVIS lowered the music. Tony, already knowing the reason, turned around and gave Steve a rather pointed look.

This was it. Steve took a deep breath and tried to force the words out. "Tony, I…"

"Yes?" Tony encouraged with a twirl of the screwdriver.

Steve swallowed and broke eye contact. Looking around the lab, it was obvious how talented Tony was. His brilliance shone in each piece of equipment assembled by hand. The harsh lines of cold metal morphed into computers and robots and most impressively the Iron Man armor. It was a thing of beauty, cold and unyielding, but hiding a vibrant life on the inside.

His eyes flicked to the arc reactor, that perfect circle that glowed and showed that Tony was alive and breathing and safe. He had seen it go out, had seen more than once the pain on Tony's face as the shrapnel tore through his bloodstream. Tony considered it an ugly reminder of his weakness. Steve considered it the second most beautiful thing on the face of the Earth, the first being Tony.

"I love you."

There, he'd said it. In the ensuing silence, he waited to see how Tony would react. So far, there was no reaction to speak of, other than a slightly opened mouth and blinking, which could mean any number of things.

* * *

"That's nice," Tony finally responded, and now it was Steve's turn to stare at him slack-jawed.

"Excuse me?" he sputtered.

Tony gave him a level look which, Steve realized, wasn't so level. Tony's pupils were dilated and he looked a little more pale than normal. The screwdriver wasn't nearly as steady as it had been earlier. "You heard me," he said acidly. "What, were you expecting me to just fall into your arms and tell you how much I love you too?"

Steve couldn't help but react to the derisive tone, but not just in anger. "Don't do this, Tony!" Maybe the Captain had been reading the situation wrong. Maybe there was a chance that Tony did reciprocate.

Tony just snorted. "Do what, exactly? There's no sense in sugar-coating it, Cap. You and I, we wouldn't work well."

"How can you know that if we don't try?" Steve could visibly see Tony trembling.

"I just do."

Steve had put himself out there, and now was the time for him to find out how Tony really felt. No hiding behind the snark and masks. "Then look me in the eye and tell me that you don't feel a damn thing between us!"

Tony flinched back, but Steve couldn't tell if it was from the tone, cussing, or the message; I know you care about me too.

Tony actually snarled. "How about you just go fuck yourself, Captain, because I certainly won't be the one to do it. When it's all said and done, I'll hurt you one too many times and you'll leave, and I don't think I could deal with it!" He was panting, and then stopped breathing all together when he realized what he said.

The raw hurt in the statement stung Steve to the point where he made no move to stop Tony's flight from the lab.

"I'll be right here, Tony. I'll wait for you," he whispered to no one in particular, before hanging his head and sighing.

* * *

Every time Steve tried to approach Tony, the inventor managed to escape the confrontation. This was through no doing on the part of the Stark. If it had been, Steve would have been absolutely amazed that Tony had managed to perfectly orchestrate an attack on Central Park by sentient gelatin, The Statue of Liberty by the love child of Godzilla and a kraken, Fury sending them all off to Spain for some kind of PR, Coulson coercing them into making an appearance at his niece's birthday party, and then Loki turning Bruce into a floating, talking painting for a week.

Now, they were fighting sentient pants in the middle of Times Square (courtesy of the Fantastic Four, who had taken a very conveniently timed vacation), and Steve had had enough of it.

"Iron Man, put us on a private channel," he snapped into the communicator while trying to dodge what appeared to be zipper bullets. His shield was still making a round trip, so he was forced to take cover behind a trash can.

There was a brief crackle of static before Tony clearly responded. "No can do, Cap."

If Tony thought that was going to keep Steve from saying what was on his mind after two months of chasing the Stark he had another thing coming. "I don't mind. I just thought that maybe you wouldn't want everyone else to hear about how you've been hiding from me ever since I told you I love you."

Cap used to think 'the silence was audible' was a ridiculous phrase. Fortunately the audible silence was broken by an even more audible wolf-whistle from Clint before Stark finally switched to a private channel.

"Is now really the time?" he snapped, doing a loop in the air to avoid being hit by copper rivets.

Steve snorted. "No, it isn't. But every other time when it should be _the time_ has either been interrupted by Avengers business or Coulson."

Steve thought he heard Tony mutter "It was nice while it lasted," before continuing at a normal volume. "Look, I already told you it wouldn't work."

"You never gave me a good reason why." He took out another two pairs with his shield and managed to tie the legs of another pair around a fire hydrant. The squeal issuing from the dress slacks told him the action was unappreciated.

He was a little surprised when the Iron Man armor landed right next to him. The moment it touched down the faceplate lifted to reveal a very irritated Tony. "Steve, this isn't something I should have to explain to you. I'm sure the second this fight is finished all of the other Avengers, plus Coulson and Fury, will tell you exactly why lo-liking me is a bad idea."

Tony turned to fire at a pair of shorts trying to sneak up on Steve, effectively cutting off the Captain's response for the moment. But it would take more than possibly-demonic pants to dissuade Steve. "Tony, I'm a reasonable guy, right?"

The older man blinked a few times. "Right?"

"Right. Do you think if I thought for a moment that this," he said, gesturing between the two of them, "was a bad idea, I would have even risked rejection?"

Tony rolled his eyes while Steve took out another pair of dress slacks. Really, as disturbing as possessed pants were, they required only a little effort to take down. A little bit more if it was one of the random pairs that could shoot. "Having a little crush on somebody has nothing to do with being rational."

"That isn't what I said. I asked if you thought I would try to go through with this _in spite of_ my feelings if I thought you weren't good for me."

"Good for _you_!" Tony said much louder than necessary, attracting the attention of several pairs of pants which had been previously occupied with inanimate objects. "I think you've missed something really important, Capsicle. Those SHIELD agents clearly didn't do a good job assessing your mental health after they thawed you. I'm only going to say this once-"

He wasn't going to say it at all, actually. One moment he was hitting a stray pair of pants with the repulsors, and the next he and Steve were covered by very angry designer jeans. Super strength and iron armor weren't much help when they were being overwhelmed by the sheer number of pants.

Several of which happened to be the kind that were spontaneously combustible.

* * *

Tony adjusted the flowers and the sketchbook in his grip before entering the room. "Hey, Cap, I brought you some flowers to brighten up this icky SHIELD hospital," Tony chirped, completely ignoring the fact that Fury was currently having a 'secret conversation' with the man in the hospital bed. "Not that it really matters, since you'll be out of here in less than a week," he continued, thrusting the overly-large bouquet of flowers Tony couldn't name at Fury who caught them out of reflex. The head of SHIELD glared menacingly at the colorful plants while Tony took his time filling the vase. Steve tried not to laugh. Not only would it be disrespectful to Fury, it would only encourage Tony's behavior. Not to mention it would agitate his still-healing burns.

He sobered up when he remembered that it could have been Tony lying in this bed, or worse, if he hadn't put up his faceplate in time.

"Stark," Fury warned as he returned the almost sickly-sweet smelling flowers.

Tony just smiled. "Could you give us a minute? Unless you want to hear all about how much Steve loves me and wants to have my babies?"

"TONY!" Steve sputtered. He was so busy feeling humiliated and burying his face in his hands he didn't notice Fury's eye twitch.

"You have five minutes," the director conceded without further argument, escaping from the room in what could almost be described as a frightened manner.

Knowing there was no sense in waiting for his blush to recede; Steve just looked up at Tony, who still had a rather gleeful look on his face. "Why would you say that?"

"Cause I wanted some alone time to discuss this," he explained, holding out the sketchbook.

The one that had the majority of his portraits of Tony.

"You went through my stuff?" Steve asked, trying for indignant instead of highly embarrassed. It didn't work.

Tony waved him off in a flippant manner. "Not the relevant point. It got me thinking, you really are stupid in love with me." Steve made a sound at being insulted, but Tony just pressed onward. "And it's really sad that you've been spending so much time pining after me. So I decided that since there is a 'philanthropist' in 'billionare genius playboy philanthropist,' and you're my teammate, so I'm going to help you out by hooking you up with the most awesome date ever!" He said with an expression somewhat smug while Steve was busy feeling hurt.

"I'm not interested!" he snapped, trying to convey exactly how furious and heartbroken he was.

Tony's smile faded away, but only to be replaced by a mocking version of the pain written across Steve's face. "You wound me, Captain. I thought you said you loved me, and yet you refuse to go out on a date?" he said dramatically, pretending to be highly insulted.

Steve could only stare at him for a few moments. "I, what?" he asked, still unable to put two and two together.

"This is the part where you say, 'oh yes Tony, I love you so much, let's ride off into the sunset-"

Tony's imitation of a delusional 15-year old girl was cut off when Steve's pillow hit his face.

* * *

When the pillow dropped to the ground and Tony took in Steve's simultaneously confused and hurt look, he shifted gears to a more serious tone. "Look, I can't make any promises that I won't do something stupid or be able to commit like _really_ long term, but when I found that sketchbook," he said, removing it from the floor where it had landed next to the pillow. He retrieved the pillow as well and handed them both to the now hopeful-looking super soldier. "I thought I could at least try for your sake. And also cause I think you look exceptionally hot in your uniform. And in workout clothes. Or in anything, actually-"

"Would you kiss him already and make him shut up before he chokes on his foot?"

Tony turned around so fast he nearly fell over. Steve was equally surprised to see their teammates waiting outside of the open door. Natasha was looking somewhat smug at managing to unbalance Tony. Thor had this huge grin on his face while Clint was making a show of fake retching and Bruce shook his head in an exasperated manner.

Tony was about to open his mouth and give Natasha a piece of his mind when Steve decided to just follow through on her advice.


End file.
